These past couple weeks I have taken some time to reflect on myself and I’ve been making a concerted effort to constantly check in with myself. Over the past couple years I have always found myself doing things I didn’t want to do and constantly pleasing people that never made an effort to please me. Basically just putting everyone before myself.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with putting others before yourself and I still put people before myself but there comes a time when you need to put yourself first as well.
Right now, I’ve reached a point in my life where I no longer want to just please everyone. I want to make myself happy. I want to do things that make me happy. I want to do more of what makes me happy and less of what makes me unhappy.
Now, making yourself happy and putting yourself first doesn’t only mean you must start doing the things you love more but it also means you need to protect your energy, your happiness, and your motivation. The moment someone makes you feel bad about yourself is the moment you need to take a step back and assess whether you want that type of energy in your life.
These are a few things I have been teaching myself on a daily basis. Implementing these things into my daily life and train of thought has helped me tremendously.
What others think isn’t important
In life you are going to come across people that are going to give their opinions on what you doing and if they think you are doing the right thing. I’m here to tell you to ignore their opinions and do what makes you happy.
You are living your life for yourself and the main person you need to keep happy is yourself, not everyone else.
In the past, I would care so much about what people thought of me, what they thought about what I was doing and if they would approve. Being so concerned about this was tiring and draining. It took away from my excitement and motivation. The moment people start taking away from your excitement and motivation is the moment you need to distance yourself from those people.
Right now, the only opinions I really care about and take into consideration are those of my family, which I am incredibly close to and a few friends that I know I can trust wholeheartedly.
You aren’t in competition with anyone
The only person you are in competition with is yourself. You just need to make sure that you are doing better than you were yesterday.
Don’t allow others to make you feel like you need to compete. Just because you aren’t living a similar way to someone else doesn’t mean you aren’t successful or doing the right thing. I cannot stress enough that we are all on our own path to success and we are all heading to a different destination and there is nothing wrong with that.
At one stage in my life, I would constantly feel like I had to compete. I somehow had to prove that my direction was just as good as the next person’s direction. Because of this I would wake up miserable, tired and drained of all my motivation.
Right now, I embrace the path that I am on and I work at changing my train of thought. The moment I start feeling like I need to compete and prove myself is the moment I take a step back, remove myself from the situation and build myself up again.
Sometimes its best not to react
Have you ever felt like a comment was directly aimed at you or you felt a bit attacked while in a conversation? This has happened to me on numerous occasions especially since I have started my blog. I found that people felt nothing about throwing out rude comments, making a joke out of what I was passionate about or they were just being plain hurtful.
This used to upset me so much. I would work myself up to a point where I just wanted to break down in tears or scream so loud just to help relieve the frustration and hurt I felt but it doesn’t help to feel this way.
Don’t get me wrong, you are allowed to feel the frustration and hurt. I still have times where I feel that frustration and hurt but I’ve learned not to react.
Don’t give that person the power of upsetting you. Never give anyone the power to make you feel bad about yourself. You know how hard you are working and that’s all that matters.
Its ok to not be everyone’s cup of tea
Not everyone is going to like you. Plain and simple and you don’t need everyone to like you. I don’t need everyone to like me.
In the past, I would be so upset if someone didn’t like me. I would constantly question myself, did I do something wrong? did I say something wrong? I’ve reached a point in my life where if you don’t like me even after I have tried my utmost to be nice to you and be friends with you then I couldn’t care.
In life, you are going to come across people that just won’t like you. They won’t have a reason and that’s ok. Don’t let it bother you or phase you. Think about all the people that love you and all the people you love. Those are the people you should be concentrating on.
Learn to appreciate what you already have
We often spend so much time thinking about the things we don’t have that we forget to appreciate what we already have.
Take some time to appreciate what you already have. There was a time that you were wishing for the things you have now. Learn to take a step back and be thankful. Make this a usual thing to do. Find time out of your day to think about what you have and be thankful for it.
This is something I try and do every day. While I am in my car driving to work, I take some time to be thankful for what I have. I think about everything I have been blessed with and I appreciate it. This has become such a crucial part of my day.
We are all working towards goals, dreams, and aspirations and there is nothing wrong with that but often we can get so focused and consumed by what we want that we start to feel like we aren’t blessed or we feel we haven’t achieved half as much as we should have but when you take a step back and think about it, you actually have.
Never give someone the power to take away your from your happiness, motivation, and passion. We all grow and learn as we face each and every day. Figure out what works for you and do for yourself what you would do for others.
Don’t second-guess the path you on just because it isn’t the same as the next person. We are all on a different path to a different destination. Embrace your journey.
You are just as important as the next person. Don’t forget that.
Pooja Shah says
Thank u for article.. Point 2,3 and 4 much needed. keep writing, its very helpful for us. Ur doing fabulous job.
POOJA says
Thank for article, point 2,3 and 4 are much needed. Its helped. Keep writing
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much, Pooja. I’m glad you enjoyed this post. I really enjoyed writing it
Angelique Mostert says
Hi my Tinkerbell
I could not agree more with what you have just said in this blog post. I have been doing the same thing for years and years and believe me it is draining emotionally. I also no longer feel the need to validate or explain myself to anyone. I refuse to explain myself to friends and family. I am who God created me to be and I am far from person. I am a hard worker and have always been. I will continue to reach for my goals and my dreams and in fact a lot of what I previously wished and dreamed about has actually happened. My story is just as important to me as anyone else’s story. Nobody is better than the next and we all fail and make bad decisions and mistakes.
If I am not liked I have also learned to just let it go although I do still struggle with it sometimes especially when I know I have done no wrong to anyone in particular.
I also do not beg for family or friends attention because some of them just simply do not bother with me. As long as I know in my heart I am living my best life and I am working hard to achieve all the things I want and I aim for it then that is all motivation I need.
At the end of the day just be yourself and it just makes life easier and simpler.
Keep reaching for the stars and go and fetch your dreams.
Love
Mama Bear
xxx
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Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much. Im glad you enjoyed the post. Many more like this to come 🙂
Bianca says
Love this one my best !!! You are so good at your passion, keep up the excellent work. I love you
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much Best 🙂 Love you endlessly
Maryam says
I think I needed to read this..thank you!! At least im not alone xx
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much, Maryam. I’m glad you enjoyed this post. Sometimes we all need to just take a step back and take care of ourselves once in a while.
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