Here’s to another week of grinding, hustling, and just plain old working hard. I want to talk about ”standing in our way” and by standing in your way I mean, doubting yourself, talking yourself out of a brilliant idea, and being too scared to post that picture or voice your opinion because you are worried about what others are going to say.
If you feel like you are continuously standing in your way and always doubting yourself this post is for you.
Learn to love yourself.
The reason I wanted to start this post with ”Learn to love yourself” is because without self-love, believing in yourself, what you are capable of, you will always struggle with moving forward, creating a life that you love, facing your fears and accomplishing your goals.
We tend to spend so much time second-guessing ourselves, wondering what others are going to think about what we are doing or we feel as if we are not smart enough, intelligent enough, or capable of accomplishing the very thing we want to accomplish. Well, this is your quick reminder, or let’s call it a defining moment! ”You can accomplish anything and everything” especially if you believe in yourself and learn to love yourself completely.
We always look for love from those around us. A boyfriend, a partner, a friend, and while getting love and feeling the love from those around us is important, it’s even more important for us to love ourselves. You are your best critic, you are your best friend, and you are the person that knows you best. So why not love everything you are and everything you have to offer.
Today or this evening, or whenever it is convenient for you, I want you to take 10 minutes, grab a pen and paper and write one thing you love about yourself. Just start with writing down one thing. Tomorrow I want you to write down 2 things you love about yourself. Start making this a habit. Start your morning or end your day with writing what you love about yourself and read over these daily. Especially when you aren’t feeling that lovable. Remind yourself how valuable you are and how important you are. Take some time to recognize everything you are, be thankful and excited because I can guarantee you that only great things can come from here. You have already taken the first step!
Think about yourself as a business.
If you were running your own business, I can guarantee that you would be checking in on it every day, checking your bank account, making sure everything is running smoothly and doing everything in your power to make sure your business is progressing and moving in the direction you want it to go, so why don’t you do that with yourself? Treat yourself the way you would treat your business or if you had a business. Check-in on yourself daily and if you find yourself running out of steam and needing some time out then give yourself that time. Take the time to replenish your soul, your well-being, and your vibe.
Do what is best for you and never feel guilty for that. I know so many women and this includes myself have a strict schedule of gym, working a full-time job, working on their side hustle and so much more and the moment you start thinking about taking a day off or skipping the gym, this immense amount of guilt and disappointment sets in and what do you find yourself doing? Pushing yourself even harder when you should be taking some time to revive your mind, soul, and vibe.
I understand that we are living in a world where if you aren’t continuously busy you feel as if you are going to end up a step behind the next person or you aren’t going to be as successful, well frankly screw that. No harm has ever come from a bit of TLC so it’s about time you gave yourself some and don’t feel bad about it.
Be the person you need and know that’s enough.
You are enough! The person you are is enough! We are all in relationships. We have partners, we have friends, we have companions but one thing you need to remember is that you are enough. You don’t need someone to complete you, validate you, or tell you that you are good enough. You need to be the person you need. Whatever you aren’t getting from that partner or friendship you need to be that for yourself. I love my husband and he means the absolute world to me but I stand by my word that I know I am enough. I don’t need my husband to complete me or validate me. He adds to me. He brings something extra into my world and it makes everything brighter but if I didn’t have him there I would still be able to go on because I as a person is enough. I never want to put my happiness in another person’s hands and I never want to be responsible for another person’s happiness and neither should you.
As I said before, you are your own best friend and you need to continue to be your own best friend. You need to love yourself enough to know that you are enough, your happiness is important, you are capable of absolutely anything you put your mind to and nothing is impossible unless you, yourself say it’s impossible. You say what goes in your life and one thing you need to remember is ”you are enough”.
Your past doesn’t define you.
Say it with me ”Your past does not define you”. We have all been through tough times and dealt with life-changing experiences that we find hard to forget and forgive but one thing you need to remember is what you have been through in the past does not define your future. Try and use those hard times that you have been through as fuel to smash your goals and work towards creating the best future for yourself.
People that know you and know your past may put doubts in your mind. You might doubt yourself because you feel like you are defined by what you have been through but that does not define you, the person you are, the person you are becoming, or your future. You determine who you are, who you want to be, and what future you want for yourself. Take a moment to think back to a time you never thought you would be able to move past. Take a moment to look at where you are now and how far you have come. You have completely killed it. If anything, you are 10 times stronger because of what you have been through. Just think back to a time you never thought you would be able to get past but here you are. You overcame it and you are stronger for it. That just shows how strong you are.
Stop with the ”what if’s and second-guesses”.
Let’s all take a moment and stop second-guessing ourselves, our decisions, the job we are in now, and everything else. We spend so much time thinking about what could have been when we could be using that valuable time working towards the goals we have now. I get that it is so easy to sit back and think about how things could have been different if we decided to take a different path but if we constantly harp on what could have been, we aren’t going to progress further than where we are now. We will end up stuck if we constantly think about what could have been. Instead of using valuable time second-guessing you could be using that time to smash out your goals which will bring you closer to the life you are wanting for yourself. I am a big believer of ”the universe has a plan” and sometimes one door is meant to close so a million others can open. We just have to wait for the right time, grind daily and everything will eventually come together.
Simon Starchevsky says
Excellent post on being the person you are meant to be, and not stifle the opportunities for success and advancement that are coming your way. Thank you for posting this.
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much Simon. I am so glad you enjoyed the post. We spend so much time doubting ourselves and second-guessing ourselves where we should actually spend that time believing in what we are capable of achieving.
Kimberly Mason says
Yes, I definitely need to hear this sometimes. It can be so hard to push through the self doubt, but when you do everything starts falling into place.
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much Kimberly. I am so glad you enjoyed the post. When we push through self-doubt, only great things can come from that and we also end up stronger.
Marjie Mare says
This is such an inspiring post I needed to read before starting another week of chaos. It’s so funny how I can lift others, care for them, and try to give them the tools to achieve what they plan and I am so hard on myself and tend to care for myself last. Thanks for sharing this.
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much Marjie. This is exactly me as well. I love helping others, caring for them and lifting them up but when it comes to doing that for myself I struggle so much. Sometimes a little TLC for ourselves is much needed in order for us to move forward and continue that hustle towards achieving our goals and dreams… I have made a pact with myself that the moment I am feeling a little overwhelmed or stressed, I step away from my desk and just take a breather. We need that balance in life. I hope you have a wonderful week.
Luna S says
I do this quite often and I know I need to work on it, trying to get rid of all of the second guessing and the doubting isn’t easy but I am slowly getting there. Great post!
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much. I am so glad you enjoyed the post. Unfortunately second-guessing and doubting ourselves in inevitable but we can definitely overcome it with perseverance and dedication. Nothing is impossible!
Quin Cl says
”Think about yourself as a business”-That’s really nice and I never thought about it, it’s brilliant. I should consider myself my own business, my investment and also my future gain. Thank you for this motivational post! 🙂
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Hi Quin, Thanks so much for taking the time to check out my post. I am so glad you enjoyed it. It’s so important for us to care for ourselves and invest in ourselves. After all, we are our own biggest investment. PS: I just checked out your blog and absolutely love it.
My Vegetarian Roots says
You do you!! great post, I loved reading it!
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much. I am so glad you enjoyed the post!
Elizabeth O says
This is such a wonderful read. I totally agree, no one will love ourself better than we do.
Tarryn Breytenbach says
Thanks so much Elizabeth! I am so glad you enjoyed the post.